Last week I was in New Orleans for a work conference. Man, was it awesome.

I struggle a bit when I flirt. When the conversation isn’t easy, I tend to lose interest quickly and want to give up. It’s cool if I make him laugh, but I don’t want to be the funny one, and he’s got to be confident.

Confidence is sexy. It’s true for both men and women, I think. A confident, smart man who can make me laugh is even sexier. Maybe that’s why I’m struggling so much with Match – it’s hard to gauge confidence in an online profile. Hence, flirting in New Orleans sounded fantastic.

Amend that: flirting in real life sounded fantastic.

My first opportunity came with a good looking guy at the hotel as we waited for the elevator to go downstairs. We chatted, it was awesome, and then I spotted the gold on his left hand.

And that’s basically how my week went. Chat someone up, and even get called baby at one point, but nothing. Bupkis.

There was one fellow attendee who really caught my attention; he had a deep, commanding voice, and I found myself with a little crush. Confidence: check. Smarts: check. Funny: check. Woo! Time to get my flirt on!

Of course he had a girlfriend. A serious one. Why wouldn’t he? Some lucky woman had already staked her flag in that country.

At this point, I don’t even remember what my flag looks like. I think it might have stripes.

There was another attendee who was known for being a flirt, but he never even introduced himself. While I prefer to be a bit more important than just a pulse or some specifically-placed fat, I didn’t even have to worry about it. He stayed as far away as he possibly could’ve. I was a little surprised, and my ego a bit bruised.

Another attendee clued me in: “Oh, it’s because you work with G. He won’t come near you.”

On one hand, that’s fantastic. The guys with me in New Orleans, G and B, were my coworkers and protectors. On the other hand, I couldn’t even flirt with the guy who’d flirt with anyone.

No flag, no country. Online and offline, it seems I kinda suck at this. Maybe I need to read more Cosmo.