I get it. Of course I get it. Sometimes being single is kinda lame. It gets lonely. I want to meet a man who makes me happy to wake up in the morning and gives me unfiltered, un-self-conscious, unbelievable love. If you know me, you know just how Duh that statement is.
But, Single Friends, we’ve got to stop the couples bashing. The singlehood bashing. The dating pool bashing. The preferred-romantic-gender bashing. It’s time to quit the pessimism, the whining, the “WHERE IS MY PERSON?” one-track mindset.
We need to perk up.
I had to stop following all the “single and dating” blogs and have hidden a few Facebook friends for their constant love life pessimism. I’m not immune, that’s for sure. I text my sister and complain about being alone or whine about how a potential Mr Awesome Manfriend didn’t turn out so awesome.
There’s a line from The Wedding Date that pops into my head every once and a while, and I chew on it and internally debate whether or not I believe it on a fairly regular basis.
“Every woman has the exact love life she wants.”
Well… but, no. Not really. But maybe? I guess that’s kinda true. Only a little. I think?
Here’s the deal. If I’d gotten my wish and had found Mr Awesome in Austin, it’s highly likely I never would’ve come to Taiwan. I would’ve missed out on this crazy adventure. Then, my friends and I thought I was going to meet Javier Bardem and live the Eat Pray Love life and live happily ever after abroad once I became an expat.
Yeah, nope. But that’s okay.
Because I’m single, I’ve been able to be abusively selfish with my time. I can move anywhere I want without consulting anyone. As much as I’d love to share my time and energy with Mr Awesome, he’s not in the picture. For my hypercomplicated life right now, that’s a total blessing; it takes a heavily-weighted variable out of my September-move equation, and solving for the X, aka where I’m going to end up, is a little easier.
X marks the spot. Except X is Waldo and I can’t find that striped-shirted little guy anywhere.
Sure, my story is different, but to my friends happy in their careers and locations, but unhappy with their love lives, please consider this advice: get busy. When you’re too busy to remember you’re single, it’s easier. You meet people, you’re invigorated, and you stop maniacally focusing on finding your own Awesome.
One final thought: if you wouldn’t date yourself, why should anyone else? You have to love yourself before you can be happy and in a healthy relationship. Everyone has baggage, flaws, faults, mistakes, and skeletons in their closets. You’re not a unique butterfly in your messed-upedness. Sorry. Realize your own awesomeness and let the bruises heal. They will. But you’ve got to stop beating yourself up.
“The hardest thing is loving someone and then having the courage to let them love you back.” Be brave, be strong, but don’t be overly dramatic. Being single isn’t a disease, it’s just a state of being. Awesome is out there, Single Friends, but remember – we’re also prepping to be someone’s Awesome. So let’s get out there and be awesome.
[Putting soapbox away]